Hey guys, This conversation is going to focus strictly on high school and college experiences. I'd like you guys to share stories about bullying/hazing/partying and all the other insane behavior we all took part of back in the day.
I'd go first, but you all should have read my book at this point! Obviously I wan't a model citizen: I was a bigot, a bully and a drug user. These aren't things I'm proud of, but it's important to share so that hopefully other people coming down a similar road won't make the same ones.
-Were you ever bullied? -Were you ever a bully? -What were the LGBT outreach programs like at your school? -Did you do anything to help others during this time? -What is your greatest accomplishment? regret?
I'm currently a high school student, and to answer your questions, yes — I have been bullied before. Surprisingly, there was only one mild incident that had to do with the fact that I'm gay. The rest... well, who knows? But it did get pretty bad. It took a lot of strength to realize that one of my so-called "best friends" at the time was just absolutely toxic and to break away from her. As for being a bully, I like to think that I'm not, but obviously, nobody's perfect. There have been times when I've said things that I immediately regretted, especially back in freshman year.
My school had a GSA way back when I was a freshman, but it was extremely small —there were only about five people in it: me and some upperclassmen who've since graduated, and so it's become nonexistent. I founded a civil rights club at my school in the hopes of creating a pseudo-GSA, but there aren't really many (openly) LGBT people at my school, so yeah... it's not really going too well.
My greatest accomplishment? Back in freshman and sophomore year, I was definitely a lot more quiet and shy, but since then, I've done a complete 180 and now I really love getting to meet new people, and I have large group of friends now. My biggest regret kind of goes hand-in-hand with my greatest accomplishment, and it's that I didn't really get to know too many upperclassmen back when I first started high school, so now that I'm a senior, I'm trying to talk to as many freshmen as I can.
Alex- paying it forward, nice. Though about your "friend"... Even "toxic" people need love But I can totally understand the need to cut some people out, at least for a little while. I'm sure if you create an outlet for people at your school, you'll be surprised with who will benefit from your help... even if it's years late.
@max: Haha, I suppose, but she seems to be happy with her other friends. My situation with her got really bad, and she would do things like turn my friends against me. Not fun. Yay, high school drama!
And I think I have made some difference! (I hope?) But it's been outside of the club. Like for example, there have been several people confused about their sexuality come to me for advice and to try and figure things out. Just recently, I had a friend come out to me, saying that I inspired them and that I helped them on their journey to self-acceptance. It was kind of the best feeling ever
But of course, I have people like you to thank! When I first started to come out, I didn't personally know any other LGBT people, so I turned to the internet. I think what you're doing is amazing, and I know you'll help a lot more teenagers in the future!
Danny- I'm glad you could stand up for yourself. Not everyone is so lucky... but the more stories i hear, it seems like the general population is coming around. Also, there's nothing wrong with being vulnerable ;-)
Hello my name is Paul right now I go to college for psychology. My psychology major stems from my struggles in high school. For a while I was bullied until people became aware I was okay with being myself, at first the guys made fun of my interest in being a barber, they said I was going to be a nut hair barber, then junior year I found a note in my locker calling me gay. I rolled with the punches on the outside but on the inside I was hurting, which brings me to my regret and also my proudest moment. I finally came out, which made me proud but the coming out drained me of every emotion possible that I tried suicide. Thankfully my friend stopped me, for such a long time I thought my darkest moment defined me, to the contrary it changed me but I will never be difined by that. After coming out I was never bullied in high school again. My high school had no GSA, so when I went to the local college I was excited to meet others like me but I was meeting with a GSA consisting of one other member. I transferred to a bigger campus with a bigger GSA but I didn't fit in there so now I just volunteer my time at the LGBT resource room, meeting new friends all the time. I might have veered off course a little so sorry about that. With much love, Paul <3
I was never a bully in high school (it's called secondary school here in the UK). I would consider myself more the victim. Before I was "out" in school, all the boys in my classes would call me names like "fag" and "sissy" and they all loved the idea that I might be gay because it was something they could pick on. After about two years of taking this from them I finally came out and all of the name calling and little comments stopped completely. For so long I was the shy, weak one, but when I came I out, I became powerful in their eyes because I did something they couldn't have done. I am now of course out and proud and I finally have the guts to stand up for myself and I can't express to everyone how important it is that you STAND UP FOR YOURSELF! I wish I had sooner.
I'm a junior in highschool and I'm being bullied all day because I'm gay. They call me names, they shove me down and it is hard but I plan once I graduate to move away from Croatia. My country is very conservative and we don't have LGBT programs in highschool. Bur the biggest problem is that I can't tell anyone in my school about it.
Post by ancienneregina on Mar 27, 2015 2:56:03 GMT
Been a while, so here goes: Was I Ever. I rarely discuss this matter with anyone. Though lately in my support fellowships I have been mentioning my youthful past with greater frequency, especially the horrendous bullying. I was bullied by a 'nasty group of 5-6 mean girls' for over three years in junior high into freshmen year, when it stopped(mostly). Also, I was bullied by a class-bound elderly woman teacher for over 2 years, till my dad found-out. He hit the roof. Strangely, the elderly teacher apologized to me over 10 years later near her passing. Life is very strange!
I was involved in a one-time bullying incident with my 'blow buddy' against a younger student. I regretted the incident for years. Also, they're both deceased, today.
I was infrequently bullied by other boys, though not too commonly. I played sports, thus 'I passed', if you will. LGBT events and programs were non-existent in the 1960s. Greatest high-school accomplishment was assisting with a large international week celebration, of which developed my passion for travel and human rights. Greatest, greatest accomplishment was surviving high-school.
I began getting bullied at a young age (6 or 7) by my family. Right when I first started to develop some since of personality. Yeah, I played with trucks and cars but I also preferred the colors purple and yellow and my entire family freaked out. My parents had multiple talks with me about being gay and that being gay is a sin and it is something that you should not choose to do. I honestly had no idea what being gay was at that time. My father forced me to walk around with my hands held in a clenched fist because it made me more of a man. My siblings would make run to my parents and tell them for example if I picked a female character in a video game or if I used too many "girl" colors while coloring and my dad would punch me in order to toughen me up -- as he called it. It got worse as I began to get more involved in school and the friends of my siblings would walk by me and call me all sorts of names. Random kids in the neighborhood would do that same. I honestly thought it was okay because my family had been doing it for so long. I became so introverted. When I was in high school my parents and family would ask why I never go outside and hang with friends, why do you sit in your room all day. I finally survived high school and moved away to Iowa for college (biggest mistake of my life). I thought college was suppose to be that place where you can be yourself and finally fit in. A "friend" of mine in college and I were hanging out and he came out to this girl and I happened to be in the room and she assumed that we both were gay. She told everyone that she knew and I reverted back to that introverted state. Being discriminated against for me gay and then for being a person of color -- I dropped out. Through support online I have finally began to put my life together. I finally graduated college this year -- which is definitely my greatest accomplishment so far!
I was bullied at school because of my friends. I'm straight but they are gay... I never wanted yo leave them because of their sexual condition so I was bullied with them. Even now, I wrote a love story novel about a guy discovering his sexuality, as well as his crush on his best friend. I need a lot of money (that I don't have) to publish it... and nobody wants to give me economic support. I really feel kind of discriminated.
I was bullied in high school and called faggot, ect. the normal gay slur that ignorant teenagers like to throw around. I was in theatre and that was my outlet. My family was through those people who were so loving and accepting and that was were i would go if i ever needed anything or a shoulder to cry on. It was a pretty hard time in my life but its almost over with now:)
Yes, I was bullied in high school, during the first year, not because I'm gay (I never came out at the time) but because I was the classic introvert type. It all ended with when they decided to put a flame under a pair of scissors and then to put it on the back of my hand while presurring it. At first I didn't understand what was happening, it felt like ice but it couldn't be, then I realised it was burning my skin in the contact point. I didn't scream, I didn't say anything, I didn't want to give them any satisfaction, no tears. When the professor came in I raised my hand, they noticed the burnt skin who appeared like glue but he couldn't see because i showed him the palm and I asked to go to the bathroom. They started to worry, I could have them suspended, but I didn't. I really went to the bathroom and while I was swearing I put the hand under the cold water. I couldn't touch it because it was sticky and I was afraid to make things worse. After a while I returned to class, I looked at them and they turned their eyes away. After that experience they stopped bullying me, so, even if I had an ugly scar for years,I guess I won that unwanted war with them.