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Post by Maxisms on Feb 24, 2015 7:44:53 GMT
-What does sex mean to you? Is it for love? fun? belonging? Any combination thereof?
-Have you struggled with any addictions or insecurities revolving around sex?
-Is there a particular ettiquette that should be followed on dating apps or in the progression of relationships?
Here's my contribution: I historically have had a difficult time with sexual harassment on both a personal and professional level. When I was 18, a talent agent (who will remain nameless) once told me "stay in the closet if you want to be an actor" AND "I'd sign you if we were dating" IN THE SAME NIGHT! It's a constant uphill struggle full of grey area to differentiate between the people who actually care and the people who just want to fuck. On an ironically related note: sometimes I find myself having too many sexual partners in an effort to ward off loneliness.
Since then, I've reserved my emotional commitments until much further down the line. It's sort of the opposite of a traditional relationship, and I'm not entirely certain that it's the right way to go about it.
Obviously, my experience is very different from everyone else (or maybe not)… So please share yours.
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Post by Joey on Feb 25, 2015 23:49:29 GMT
Hi, I've just turned 18 and I've been out for nearly two years. I'm still a virgin and I find myself still quite 'clued out' of sex. Gay sex, that is. My school has a LOT of sex education...for straight people. I don't need 82 classes telling me how not to get a girl pregnant. I've done stuff with guys, but never sex. I'm nervous about the whole proccess. How do I know if I'm a top? a bottom? How much does bottoming hurt? When do you use a condom? What is the etiquette? I find porn to be heightened fantasies of actual sex so I try to not base my ideas off that lol. I'm the only out gay person in my entire school too, so as much as I don't want to be a virgin any more it seems like I have no choice until I move for university. I tried dating apps...and well...you know what they're like. Any advice would be great!
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Sex
Feb 26, 2015 16:59:32 GMT
via mobile
bedroom likes this
Post by bedroom on Feb 26, 2015 16:59:32 GMT
When it comes to sex, love and dating, I would write an encyclopedia about it. Some guys I used for sex because there wasn't a chemistry there. I knew sex was good. Some guys I dated and never wanted to see again. Some guys I dated and wanted to see more of ... Well I got dumped.... so many heartbroken stories. But trying to find love among gay men is like finding a unicorn. Once finding it, it worth it.
I am glad you are out Max, you are the greater good for young people as a role model.
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Post by Maxisms on Feb 26, 2015 21:31:55 GMT
Joey-
Damn good question! Firstly, I don't think you need to rush into anything. You've got plenty of time to get laid. If I were you, I'd wait until I met someone who I trust and care about. It's something you'll remember for the rest of your life, why waste that memory on an experience you'd regret? As for your "top or bottom" question, those are just labels. Some guys have stronger preferences than others, but ultimately it just depends on your comfort level. If you're going to try bottoming, make sure you do it with someone who's going to be careful with you and help you properly relax. The last thing you want is a tear down there (OUCH!) And lastly, ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS wear a condom! It takes at least a year to REALLY get to know someone well enough to trust them with your life (yes, your life!) so if I hear that you're out there barebacking with strangers, I will find you and personally bitch-slap you (the bad kind, not the fun kind). Thanks for your question. I hope this answer helps....
Bedroom- I know how you feel. It always seems to be the case, right? I guess that just makes it even more special when two people are on the same page.
<3!
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Post by ancienneregina on Feb 27, 2015 4:17:53 GMT
SEX IS ALL OF THAT AND MORE. SPEAKING FOR MYSELF. I'M AN ECSTATIC, THUS IT MEANS SOMETHING ADDITIONALLY. OF COURSE FOR FUN AND FOR LOVE(ONLY A DECISION OF THE HEART, SOUL AND BODY)! INSECURITIES - YES, BACK IN THE DAY. ADDICTIONS: WELL ANOTHER STORY BUT NOT SEX ADDICTION, IF THAT IS WHAT YOU'RE ASKING. GOOD GRIEF MY YOUNG BROTHER I WOULDN'T BE CAUGHT WITH PANTS ON OR OFF ON A DATING OR SOCIAL APPLICATION FOR SEX OR HOOK-UP. I SENSE WHETHER THE BROTHER IS WILLING OR NOT IN REGARDS TO SEX OR A SCENE. HE MUST BE ABSOLUTELY SOBER, OR NEAR SOBER AND CLEAN. YES, THIS MATTER OF SOBRIETY IN SEX DOES GET DICEY. SO BE IT!  PEACE |
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Sex
Feb 27, 2015 6:58:23 GMT
Post by Maxisms on Feb 27, 2015 6:58:23 GMT
Ancienneregina- what does "clean" mean exactly?
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Post by ancienneregina on Feb 27, 2015 14:06:04 GMT
Clean for me, speaks to the language of 'one of my support organisations' I am an active menber of several support fellowships, along with an ecstatic community.
Thus -- clean means -- drug free. Specifically, the brother had better appear and have the behaviour of a sober/clean member of life. Peace
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Post by lindela on Feb 28, 2015 0:08:52 GMT
Sex for me is an expression of one's love. It requires trust, honesty, compassion, acceptance, communication and a very deep connection. Well, that is what I believe though I can't say that I have experienced that?  . I have done everything besides penetration (with the ex) and I am planning on holding off on that until I meet someone who makes me feel things that I have never felt before. Even though I had my first and only boyfriend at seventeen, I was not in love with him so I ended up breaking up? with him right before my eighteenth birthday. I have been single from that moment until now but I won't lie, sometimes I feel so lonely. So very lonely? . It's true University is a great place for meeting new people but most of them just want sex or "fun" ??.I wouldn't know any of the because I don't get approached.At all!!!! I should probably start looking forward to my future as an 80year old virgin (well that's only if my miscellaneous sexual activities, that don't include the big p-word(*whispers* penetration), do not count. My friends have been having a lot of sex mind you and I feel like something is wrong with me. Maybe I am the problem. They have been trying to set me up with some people but I am not having any of that. ?? It just doesn't feel right, you know? One of my friends also suggested I try Internet dating? ??... I did but I wanted to shoot myself by day two. I deleted the dating apps. Thank you for the book Mr. Emerson? ?. I haven't started reading it yet but I will just as soon as I finish reading the inheritance cycle books. |
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Sex
Feb 28, 2015 0:10:51 GMT
via mobile
Post by lindela on Feb 28, 2015 0:10:51 GMT
Sorry, my emojis are appearing as question marks.
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Sex
Feb 28, 2015 19:12:11 GMT
Post by Maxisms on Feb 28, 2015 19:12:11 GMT
Lindela, thanks for the contribution. I just read your post about coming out as well... I think you're making the right choice. It's a negative stereotype in our community that people have really low boundaries, and I think waiting for the right experience is definitely the way to go. My first was definitely a disappointment... but everything's a learning experience |
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Post by dylanb on Mar 1, 2015 0:50:09 GMT
My first sexual encounter was around 2 years ago, I was 16 close to 17 and was still yet to have sex. There was another guy at school who I knew was bi, he had shown an interest in hooking up with me. So one day I thought "oh what the hell, let's get this over and done with" . It wasn't that I was ashamed of not having sex, it was just the felling that once I had done it then I would feel more confident. I sent him a text and later that day we had sex.
It was certianly a expercince that has helped me grow as a person, the big thing that I toke away from this is don't just jump into bed with guys you barely know when you young. Also just waiting around for the occasional good guy who you can be good friends with and have a little fun with is never a bad thing, when life gives you these oppertunities, grab them.
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Post by ancienneregina on Mar 1, 2015 3:24:58 GMT
First experience with people. Yes, It is the plural. Two brothers double-teamed me when I was 14.  They were twin brothers (12.5 years of age) and very sexually versed, as I look back. I recently repeated the story to my Irish twin brother. He did not want to hear it, though he is aware of the event with some details. His best friend told him years later. Tropical rainstorm and the twin bros crawled into my sleeping bag on a Boy Scout adventure. It was frankly wild and scary. I was probably imprinted with the memory and experience deep into my psyche, maybe why I am very energetic person. Though another brother believes that I was 'born this way'. Of course, of course Regarding progression in relationships, I go slow - usually. However, young brothers can be impulsive. Finally, regarding being 'hit upon' -- at my age I am still surprised. Yet, a year ago at an ecstatic dance event - approached the next evening in the pool by two young men(of which I had danced with along with one's wife), whom requested to double-team myself. However, it was at a special retreat centre in the States, whom the owner has requested that I return to possibly assist in energy work(not sexual) but yoga, breath and movement. They were disappointed that I turned them down on their offer. I thanked them and we discussed relating and being intimate with men till wee hours of the morning.  |
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Post by peterjacob on Mar 4, 2015 8:53:32 GMT
Hi Max, thanks for being awesome.
Growing up, I was always bothered by the free sexual spirit of the gay people around me. I live in the Netherlands, where being gay is not as big of an issue as it can be in other parts of the world, and the gay community is very much focused on sexual freedom. I never identified with this, when I was younger. Now, I am a little more mature (27) and I understand that people can have their own definition of what sex means to them. I personally save it for my boyfriend. We have been together for five years and are quite 'traditional' in how we define a relationship, which seems out of the ordinary in the community.
What is interesting to me is why sex is such a big part of the gay community. Is it because most gay men don't belief in love, or don't want commitment? Or is it all blown out of proportion and are straight men the same? What do you think?
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Post by ancienneregina on Mar 6, 2015 1:46:57 GMT
Let me be clear to all brothers. I infrequently have 'sex' as commonly understood. Yet, I have been told for a number of years(actually many) that I am a highly sexed person. I do not speak in graphic or sexual language, as sex addicts and some damaged folks, may. I am an ecstatic and without freaking out the brothers here, leave it at that. I am a ginger and have a somewhat "SCOOBY" body, so -----
My spiritual path is very unconventional.
To MAX - Yes, I have known one or two professional models or former models. It is very problematic(being hit-upon) in the community of modelling, so sad. I believe the women suffer greater - particularly in the food addictions realm. SEX never solved LONELINESS and never has or will, my opinion and I know that I am not alone in that view. Peace 
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Sex
Mar 6, 2015 8:55:21 GMT
Post by Maxisms on Mar 6, 2015 8:55:21 GMT
I like that you guys aren't relying on traditional rules to define relationships, yet haven't gone completely overboard with the slutty stuff.
PeteJacob- interesting question. Although that's a stereotype appropriated to men, I think the M4M thing definitely acts as a multiple. It's a theme I'm going to be continuing to explore in my work. I'd love to hear your thoughts.
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PEACE
. I have done everything besides penetration (with the ex) and I am planning on holding off on that until I meet someone who makes me feel things that I have never felt before. Even though I had my first and only boyfriend at seventeen, I was not in love with him so I ended up breaking up?
They were twin brothers (12.5 years of age) and very sexually versed, as I look back. I recently repeated the story to my Irish twin brother. He did not want to hear it, though he is aware of the event with some details. His best friend told him years later.
